i was reallyy depressed when i reached home today. i flopped on top of my bed and starting moping and wallowing in self pity. tran was out so i had the whole house to myself. i decided to take a really hot shower, and instead of crying in one corner, i decided after to occupy myself with more stuff to do. and so i did.

the moment i came out of the shower, i put on a jacket, placed 5 potatoes to boil and went down to do the laundry. a week and a half worth of clothes (together with tran's)

i came back up and took out everything i could find that fitted the mood and placed them on the counter top.


brocolli+cauliflower+button mushroom+carbonara sauce+boiled to dead soft potatoes+peach&mango yoghurt+orange+apple+kiwi+raisins

i started off with the fruits.


i cut the orange+apple+kiwi up the way i liked it.(of cos i needed to peel the oranges before cutting hiaks.)


topped with ice and raisin- nothing but fruit therapy to lift my spirits.

in the mean time, i threw the brocolli and cauliflower into a pot of slightly salted water to boil.

i wrapped the bowl of fruits with cling wrap and left it in the fridge to chill.

then. i started on the pasta sauce. i cut out the honey roasted ham, and opened the can of button mushroom. after properly draining the mushrooms, i popped everything (including the sauce) in a pot, and added water until it tasted just the way i liked it; not too thick not too watery. and left it on low heat to slowly cook.

then i cooked the penne that i bought a month ago. (oh yes. i only cooked pasta once in the past month. this is my 2nd time) so. i placed 4 potatoes in the fridge to keep, and cut one up. same goes for the vegetables which had a slight taste to them due to the salt.


and that's my dinner.

to be frank, i really wasn't hungry. at all. but being depressed, and seeing how the weather sucked so bad the past few days, i turned into a mindless eating machine. i ate this (points up) and the fruit salad, in less than 10 minutes. applaude applaude. and i thank you for that.

after the food, i washed up, and washed up again. then i started cleaning the kitchen, and mopped it, and vacuumed it. seeing i already had the vacuum cleaner out, i dragged it out, and vacuumed the room twice over. (i vaguely remember only vacuuming my room on tuesday/wednesday this week) just as i wanted to go down to collect the laundry, tran came home! and so she helped me with it. && i really thank God for her, cause even though my mood rubbed off on her, we took a slow walk to coles, and decided to bake apple crumble. so we bought ingredients, and we were obviously highly bipolar.

currently, we're waiting for the crumble to finish baking. patiently.

i realise that (not only now though) that i tend to have OCD at times when i'm feeling unhappy or depressed. or of course, when i'm just feeling anal about stuff around me.
...

i really hate waking up everyday to howling winds, and my whole body just curled up like a prawn, underneath the quilt, that is suppose to be really warm, shivering and going 'brrrrrr'. i hate how the wind is so scary when i'll just wake up in the middle of the night sometimes cause it's just smashing against the windows, threatening to come right into the room to freeze me. && wearing 2 layers of everything, top with a scarf and zara coat, and still find myself shivering, and fingers going numb and stiff, as if they'd break anytime.

&& i hate it all the more, when the afternoon comes and for like a couple of hours, its really hot and i'll end up having to remove everything except a single layer in school, making my bag really bulky and heavy, only to walk home in the evening and battle against the horrid wind once more cause it seeps into your bones and freezes you inside out.

but i do thank God that for all things, at least i'm not alone.
on top of the disgusting assignments that they piled on us, i find pleasure (to different extents) in hanging out with comfort company during and after school.

scene 1
penny: DORYYY (as she turns the corner and spotted me looking at dental stuff in coles)
dory: -turns around and manages a grin- hi penny, where've you been?
penny: -bounces up- why do you look so pale?
dory: er cause i feel sick?
penny: are you warm enough? -looks dubiously at jacket+tshirt+fbt shorts+slippers that dory is wearing-
dory: not really, i'm quite cold, but maybe that's cause i spent the last 25 minutes at the frozen section looking at food.
penny: you want my jacket? -immediately starts rummaging her bag-
dory: nah it's okay.
penny: here! -pulls up dubious blue fluff- you should wear this! -and hereby placing something over my neck-
dory: ahh. thanks. (only to find the thing really warm)
penny: HEY YOU LOOK REALLY NICE IN THIS YOU KNOW (after looking at me for like 30 seconds)
dory: thanks penny (with that face, cause i seriously doubt so.)

scene 2
chris: hey dory! do you want a hug? -opens arms wide-
dory: -looks at chris- err nah. you're too sweaty chris
chris: -grins broadly-
but at least i know he meant it (:

and there's more. like ken michael and rahul walking me all the way home last night just cause it was 10+pm and they all felt that it was dangerous for me to walk home alone. michael with his strained hamstring, and ken on an empty stomach with his dinner waiting for him in his room which is a 20 minutes fast walk away from my house. rahul just came for the chocolate fudge that i made.hoho. nah he was being nice. (:

scene 3
-phone rings-
me: hello?
ken: where are you! (sounds damn fierce)
me: err i'm with michael, he's walking me home. we're opposite POW.
ken: huh! why you all never wait for me and rahul!
me: err. i thought you guys were gonna stay with penny for awhile wads.
ken: you stay there. WAIT THERE WAIT THERE. we're coming.
-dead tone sounds-

i've been baking/making stuff, to keep myself happy. every now and then. chocolate truffles that i delivered to you guys over there, it was actually a plan to make them here with adeline. made white chocolate oreo cheesecake and tried a new recipe: condense milk chocolate fudge. just that i modify it a tad bit and made it dark and milk chocolate fudge (different layers in the fudge) well it turned out good (: many of them are asking me for baking lessons ((:

&&&&
THE APPLE CRUMBLE IS A SUCCESS!
tran&i just ate it with vanilla icecream. zomg it's damn good(: i think tomorrow when the gang comes over, they'll love it :D


this is our apple crumble (:


apple crumble after we took our share ((:


the crumble with vanilla icecream :D

ahh comfort winter food. (: i like.

i'm growing fat. seriously.

this is what happens when you're depressed.
i become a mindless eating machine. okay fine i admit that it's the first time this is happening erps.

tomorrow the gang is heading over to cook porridge (: century egg+salted egg+porridge with minced meat+boiled peanuts and vegetables. hiaks(: its so nice to be able to cook together. cause for porridge, you can't cook in small portions! yayy. so i'll have a nice lunch tomorrow. then it'll be work again after that :(

and apparently there's suppose to be a hotpot going on at beatrice's house after. shall think about it. lol.

oh and tran and i came up with a weekly dessert timetable! we're gonna be making something new every week. tran actually hates the kitchen, but she's encouraged by her 1st successful baking attempt. HAHAHA.


there. look how retarded tran is. she actually RATED our first attempt as 4/5 stars. and carefully coloured the first 4 stars. LOL.

i thank God that she's around. we were laughing like mad people just now. while baking, while drawing up the timetable, while at coles, while walking back. hiaks. birds of the same feathers flock together eh.
...

okay work.
i miss you.