you know what?
i'm really sick and tired of having to account to so many effing people of my actions, the reasons behind certain behaviour, and worse of all, the people that i want to hang out with.
i trust that approaching twenty, i am more than mature enough to understand which people are the 'right' ones to hang out with, and which are the ones that are just sheeps with inner wolf beings. i'm not saying that i'm ready to just stretch my wings and fly away, i do want protection sometimes, but there just gotta be a limit.

lowly was telling me not to put the blame of everything on myself, if not i won't really be able to live life the way it should be. but i told myself, i'd try. and so i did. sometimes there will be no reciprocation, or even worse, people tend to misunderstand me more. and it's hard telling myself, that i don't give a effing shit because i don't like being misunderstood. i'd take whole day and night, trying to explain myself, to try and make things better, only if you let me.

and so im so sick of this 'only if you let me' situation, because as long as my conscience is clear, i don't see a need to explain, to apologise, to allow myself feel like i allowed myself to be involved in crime. because at that point of time, i know what i'm doing is right, and i don't say one and do another.

and so you think you got it hard, what about me. i didn't choose to be in this.