people from 2 worlds, may not have 2 minds.
however, people with 2 minds, will definitely be in 2 worlds.
do you understand?
...

i can't believe even up til now, i'm still trying so hard. and of all the thoughts and efforts that i've put into this whole issue, i think it'll amount to the same as that for all the other things that happened to me this year. can you believe this? i can't even believe it myself.

after thinking through it hard enough (i'll say thanks to all the sleepless nights here) i'm appalled at how much time i've wasted, and in the end all i got was nothing but an apology. *bitter laughs.
i chose it, and i'm not blaming anyone for it.

take going to australia as an example. it took me quite a while to brace the fact that i'd need to leave my comfort zone, waste a hell lot more money than i would if i stayed, just to pursue a career that i always wanted. then again, i chose it. cause i wanted nothing else but a medical degree. and if i need to, i can blame no one but myself. but now, i've come to not only accept this fact, but i'm really looking forward to it.

it's so cliche to say that there's always a flip side to everything.

but true to the saying, time has proven to me that there IS a flip side to this very issue that i thought i would be stubborn enough to stick to my 40 year old virgin plan (HAHA. sonia&charis will come in here). the sad thing is, the flip side to this has turned out to be pretty ugly. once again i'm brought back to the fact, that despite it being ugly, i'm still trying hard. henceforth, i'm pretty disgusted with myself. and it is clearly reflected in my blithe repartees when it comes to the issue. (i'll totally give myself a pat on the back for it)

for once, i'm not allowing myself to be manipulated like a clown. dangled out there on the wash line, left hanging for gawd knows how long, and hell. in the end it wasn't even taken down to be appreciated properly. lucky for me, the wind caught me one day and i flew off to greener pastures.

two can play the same game.
but i'm sick of playing it.
&& i don't see why i should put in so much when it's not reciprocated.
i need to let my spirit be free; admit that i'm wrong and change my mind.
sorry but i gotta be strong and leave you behind.
...

moving on to happier things, I GOT MY NEW NEC!! :DDD it's pearl white!
zomg i love it love i love i (:
got it from Sitex ya.
and guess what! i bought it at a further discounted price, with a free upgrade of my ram to 3gb && 3 year international warranty!
SMIRKS.
and all this came by cause the guy serving me was nice enough (in a whisper) to help me ask the boss for all the freebies. :D
anyways i even got a 4gb thumb drive, and everything cost less than $1700! coolz.
i only trust japanese brand. LOL.
can't help being more apprehensive cause it's not like i'd be in singapore where all technical help is cheap and easily available.
so now i'm happily transferring everything into my laptop. only thing left to do is wait for itunes to convert all the wma songs in my music folder! urgh. i can't believe there's so many of them, && its taking ages to convert.
gahh.
...

don't worry about everything i've done,
and live every second like it was my last one.