i saw the tear dropped after i hugged her.
this is the third time.
it hurt twice bad compared to the last two times.
i spilt on sonia once again.
same topic, different location.
just that this time round, i did away with the alcohol, and added a little touch of insanity to it.
face it; i've been lying all the time,
in fact, you shouldn't take what i say seriously.
and no, you're not bad at all.
i told sonia so; if you really want to blame someone, let that someone be, me.
because of how i messed up everything.
like, would you believe me if i said i really didn't expect anything from you.
really.
perhaps the only thing would be a friendship i'd like to secure.
but you and i kinda made it (almost) impossible to have one at a primitive level;
no quirks, no lines drawn.
talk about adopting the new policy,
it's really all talk and no action.
correction: it's all talk and failure in attempted action.
BFD should understand what i'm talking about.
i once thought it good to get away, get a breather, and cast everything else away.
yet i realise that no matter where i am,
your presence lingers like a ghost haunting me over and over again.
and you know what,
it's really a lot of pressure that you're putting on me, and everyone around.
you tend to make people upset without even knowing,
so why not this,
i give up my dream,
take a plung,
and end the story.
...

all of us know the old saying: you can't force it.
but i'm really not forcing you in anyway.
yet you can't force me to stop, make a u-y, and pretend that nothing happened.
i know, understand, accepted the circumstances that i've placed myself in.
it's like BAM.
i suddenly make it clear that i'm on a one way street.
...

i think i need more quiet afternoons.
and it's really because i feel you don't care. ):