i seriously think i'm sleep deprived. find it unbelievable? but that's how ridiculous it is. during the As period, i had no choice, but now when i do, insomia decides to visit. anyhow i've been in a on-off irritable mood the past 2 days.

the day started off with me forcing my ass out of bed at 9am to make sure i'm on time for my breakfast with chuah.(mindya i slept at 4+ in the morn) and so i took a walk to jalan kayu. and yes- chuah was late.(as usual) but the roti prata was good(: swinging on the swings as though we are once again young was simply awesome.

bridge&mahjong after that.

and no i do not understand why i'm blogging about my DAY. cause i never believe in doing that, especially so in detail. so fine, i shall stop side tracking.
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ANYHOW. i feel obliged to say that i DO get irritated with repeated requests. especially so when it was expectantly obvious that i wasn't in a good mood. now when i say repeated requests i really mean bugging. and yes i make a point to stop(doing/saying whatever i was intending to)when i sense bad vibes.

and yes i do sense them from you.

i get so damn irritated with you leaving me feeling so stupid, and then with myself for lending myself in such a ridicule situation.(not like it was anything special anyway)

i should have just let it be.

as you said before: its the little things, seemingly unimportant, but they do make us feel down.
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basically i'm like damn peefted about the whole situation. i'd rather attend it myself, just Him&me and no one else. at least im not being watched all the time. somehow or other, they do have the power to make me feel so small- while i've been struggling against the tight cords that's keeping me bound.
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and do you know: sometimes what's brought up on a blog can be important too. if you don't get it, nevermind.