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i have a shrewd suspicion that my blog is going to turn into this whole venting site for me.
...

someone should just learn how to hold her tongue. like seriously. okay maybe cause now i'm SERIOUSLY pmsy or irritated that i just decided to flam her here.

anyhow, this person happens to be in close proximity to me everyday.
how painful is that.
come on la. stop spreading word about people and ruining their lives.
seemingly, you have nothing better to do.
it's best if you go get yourself laid.
(according to phoon)
frankly speaking, i'm on the verge of agreeing.
only then, will you become more mature and less stupid.
i hate it when people start spreading stuff about pple.
ruining their lives at the same time.
you think you're so close to perfect.
and so what if you're a christian.
i'm not anti-chirst.
please don't misunderstand me.
ironically, i'm christian TOO.
so? tt doesn't mean i'm like better then the rest.
which is the mentality that you and your friends have adopted.
you ARE a sinner too.
so how does it matters that a sin committed by others are (by ur standards) worse then the sins u commit?
you are still considered a sinner.

venting ur frustrations/disgust with a grp of close friends about a person IS DIFFERENT from repeating ur disgust to almost the whole world over and over again.
if you don't know, doing that latter (which is exactly what you are so gd at doing) makes u a life ruiner.
so u better learn to hold ur tongue.
if not i'll let u have a taste of ur own medicine
by telling everyone about what i think of you.
then we'll see how you'll feel about it.
(once news gets to you)

i think my past experiences in nanyang has made me extra touchy about stuff like this.
and yes i still disagree to such disgusting behaviour.
not to make myself sound righteous or whatever,
but people lead their own lives, and i lead my own.
i can disagree with the way some people are behaving,
but i have no right in putting him/her down.
and the same applies for everyone out there.
no one is above the rest.
...

on an entirely different note.

maybe it's because i'm not likable enough.
maybe it's because she's easier to manipulate.
maybe it's because i appeared too stubborn
and non-understanding.
maybe it's because of something i did
which changed ur opinion of me.
maybe it's because u sensed my pain.
maybe it's because we were on different frequencies.
maybe it's because you simply couldn't comprehend.

and maybe. it's because you decided to leave me in the lurch.
pick up the pieces by myself.
shove me to another
wanting nothing to do with me.
hurting me.
as u were so seemingly unhelpful
about everything.

i struggled
and i pulled through.
yet i still want to let you know
that it mattered to me.
just like how it matters to me now.
and no matter how much i deceive myself,
i know deep down i still hope that
you could be someone i can look up to.
for advise
and prayer.
like what you used to do.

but you've gone on
and left me behind.