i just want someone
to hug me tight and warm
to hold my hands and never let them go
to have a shoulder for me to lean on when i'm tired
to call me when i'm feeling lonely
to always be there when i need him.

i don't know why, but i've been kinda down the past few days. wait. maybe down isn't exactly the word to describe it- it's just that i don't feel like doing anything at all. i don't feel like going to school, doing my work, even watching television or going online. in fact, i didn't even feel like bathing or moving or eating. all i felt like doing was sitting down and stone. even so, all the random thoughts in my brain makes no sense at all. mingjoo just asked me "how's life for you? feeling lost sometimes?" yeah. that's the word i'm searching for- lost.

i'm lost.

lost in all my thoughts, my feelings. all my emotions, tangled like a ball of twine, with the 2 ends unfound. it's like a jigsaw puzzle, scattered all over the place, and try as i might, i can't put the pieces back together. if only there was such a thing as a pensive, then maybe i'll be able to look at what my thoughts really are, clearly. it's just so tiring trying to do it in your mind, and after a while, you just get so frustrated that you don't feel like thinking about it anymore.

i while away my time everyday as though i have all the time in the world, when i don't. already my studies are suffering. andd. i don't feel like doing anything about it, about sdd, about my life, about every freaking thing in the whole world. dorinda is just moping at her death bed. -.-

sorry. if you didn't realise, i'm in a whiney mood.

i feel like going back to school right now. going nuts. when i'm in school, i feel like going home. when i'm at home, i feel like going back to school. now if anyone's gonna ask me "what about the malls or any other places?" well. i'm sorry but i don't feel like going anywhere else. and when i'm in school, i like being in the council room, only if it's empty. and when i'm at home, i'll be in my room. gosh. i feel like such a loner. maybe i am. =/

and even if i do manage to piece the jigsaw pieces together, there's always a missing piece that i can't find. lost- somewhere out there.