this morning alvin called for redshirts to stay back. i knew what it was going to be about. and i knew that i would feel annoyed and pissed off half way through, so, i told myself to shut up. i was so right. and i think my face spelt it all. well i'm not feeling sorry for having shown it, cause you guys can jolly well know. i sensed that vernie was feeling pissed off too. but she too, clammed. it wasn't the appropriate time to start talking about that issue. it just wasn't and he didn't want to listen. so be it.

well, it's not very nice to get lectured for something early in the morning. especially after you just did something stupid on stage and there was bio lecture waiting. i just knew it wouldn't work out. from the facial expressions of the victorians, it just confirmed my intuition. and even so, lectured for something that you know you have sufficient explanation about it but just don't have the time to say anything. i don't blame yongfeng, no. i realised that he IS put above us. yes i came to a point of that. and no matter what, i have to respect THAT authority. and i agree that keeping things from him isn't the solution to problems.

BUT. there's always a catch huh.

if yongfeng were to be there for the meeting last friday, i swear i would have blasted at him. i'm not saying it's right to call for meetings without him, but it's just a time where all the redshirts were feeling bloody pissed off, and it's definitely not wise to have him there.

okay enough said. i shan't spell out why i'm so annoyed. but i know where my duty lies. and as a friend and a redshirt, yongfeng, i'll support you whole heartedly always. for tomorrow as well as thursday. i promise. and i'm sorry. sorry that i had to realise it only so late. but i only realised after i did quiet time 2 days back. He spoke to me. if all the redshirts were to support its leader, no matter how bad the leader is, it's the redshirts responsibilities to support him/her. and even so, they will still be able to create an impact that will last.

a leader is chosen for a reason. appointed by God.