many things happened. and many things are still happening. life to me is just like this rollar coaster. i have no ounce of when it's gonna stop or when it's gonna go up a slope and whoosh down all over again. or even when, during the ride that i'm gonna be sick. everything's so unpredictable.

many say that secondary school is the time where you'll meet friends that will last you a lifetime. but i can surely confirm that, the friends whom i made during my primary school times are still the ones that has always been so true. we lasted for 4 years, each year hardly seeing each other. but even so, when we meet up, we have lots to say, and nothing to hide. in front of them, i can say anything, do anything, and be myself. i don't know why and no one will ever understand, but it's only in front of them that i don't have to pretend, don't have to compromise. in front of others, i'll have to watch what i say, i have to mind their feelings in fear of offending them, i have to fear them getting upset and pissed off over me. but in front of huilin and sonia, all these fears disappear.

i'm irritated. with my life, and everything. i don't enjoy my sec school life. what's with all the bitching and gossiping, all the hurting of others, all the tears and all the pain. in primary school, none of these were as bad. yes i've mature, but in way that none in nanyang is able to comprehend. it's like nanyang and me are two worlds apart, nothing but compromising can help promote peace. but that's not the kind of life i want. not the kind of days that i want to lead. i believe that there are people out there that can understand without knowing why, accept me for who i am and treasure me for who i am.

there's nothing in nanyang that can be treasured. no nothing. going to school is such a chore. being there brings nothing but trouble. and who in nanyang can understand? none.
so different our paths that we choose and no amount of talking will do any good. even time can't help to make a difference. i'm sorry, for being so indifferent.