have you ever felt so fustrated that you totally dun feel lyk doing anithing at all? its just so. -rah- actualli i feel im rather an eccentric person. like i do what i like, when i like. so big deal. i remember that there are many a things that i do when i'm feeling really low. when my brain is all entangled with confusion. when my thoughts all rushed to my heart, beggin it to prioritise them but end not sorting out anything. i feel so, like my heart is thumping so hard, so filled with emotions weaving in and out, that its gonna burst anytime soon.

when i was young, i remember i will suddenly start crying even for no reason. n when asked, i could never give a reason. i like to associate more with animals then with people, and i like being alone. alone most of the time. i use to don't understand..what tears really are. i use to hide under my blanket and cry and cry, thinking that i feel safe only there. and now i still lyk to hide under my blanket in the dark and cry and cry, thinking that i feel safe only there.
emotions. senseless emotions. weaving in and out. out and in. all over the place. i take a deep breath, but it doesn't seem to help. nothing i can do in order to relieve the pain and the loneliness i feel in my heart.

i wanna run. run away. run far far away. away from everything, every emotions, every thoughts i have. however i began to realise...wad i realli need, is to be blinded from the reality that im facing.

... ...

it hurts just so badly to know i cant confirm that ......
- one day you'll love me the way i love you. that one day you'll think of me the way i thought of you. that one day you'll cry for me the way i cried for you. but i can confirm one thing...and that is, i'm still waiting for the day when you'll want me the same way as i want you- "